Salam ladies... ;)
For those yg masih baru couple2, baru nak chinta2, baru nak berbunga2, bf baru ajak kawen,B2B freshies, or yg kawen lambat lagi (like me! haha)... meh2 i share some info on adat2 melayu dlm perkahwinan... saje nak share cos i pon xreti sgt bab2 nie..haha (ayat awal2 mcm terer je kan ;p). I love weddings, but still clueless bab2 adat2 ni... Kalau kite tgk skang ni kalau bleh sumer nak modern kan, but i rase kite kene respect adat n oso respect our parent's wishes.. Wedding is not about you, it's also your parent's occasion...dorang kan 'letting go' their daughter to somebody else, n oso meraikan kedatangan menantu.. So definitely most parents and org tua2 nak ikut adat.. tp depends la kan, ade parents yg xkisah n modern..
Ok back to the original topic, jom share these info.. i bagi yg general je, later on baru i post yg detail2 sket..
*credit Mr Oogley (google) & b2b yg share info kat BBF :D
adat melayu tepak sireh
ADAT MERISIK & MEMINANG
The adat merisik (asking ceremony, or more literally 'spying custom') is the traditional Malay system for arranging marriages. When it is time for a young man to get married, his family will look around to identify a number of potential brides. Nowadays, the man might suggest to his family who he would like them to consider, and it may be that a romantic link already exists between the man and woman. Having decided upon one particular woman, the merisik, or investigation process, takes place.
For this ceremony one or more representatives (wakil) of the man's family pay a friendly visit to the family of the woman whom they have in mind as his potential bride. The visit is purely for the purpose of further investigation, and it gives the visitors the chance to see the woman. A hint will be given to her parents regarding the purpose of the visit, and their reaction will be assessed. The woman's parents may also give the visitors some idea as to whether or not their daughter would be interested in the match. The merisik does not constitute a formal proposal. Following the visit both sides can begin to think more seriously about the possibility or otherwise of a marriage. It is possible that no progress may take place, and the man's parents or representatives will then look for another possible bride.
(errr ye ke dulu2 camnie? hurmm skang bila dah couple n ur bf serious, then hantar wakil for merisik+masuk minang kan..xde dah mcm dulu2 xkenal tp trus nk masuk minang..haha. Slalunyer merisik+meminang ni ada cincin tanda satu utk si gadis..)
As soon as a man announces his wish to marry, an engagement date will be set when families of the couple meet to discuss the wedding plans. The adat bertunang (engagement custom) is normally held at the bride's home.
(ha ni mcm zmn skang la kan..depends ngan family nak wat majlis simple2 or besar-besaran. Pihak lelaki akan bawa atleast sireh junjung, cincin n manisan. Belah pompuan lak akan membalas 5dulang camtu.. then upacara sarung cincin by future MIL menandakan ur booked! hehe. From there oso parents akan discuss benda2 penting macam tarikh, wang hantaran, etc,etc..)
A Malay wedding proper begins with the akad nikah (marriage contract) ceremony. The groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin (mahar,literally 'marriage gold' in form of money or goods or anything as requested by the bride).It is opposite to dowry where the mas khawin is paid by the groom to the bride. The mas khawin is a symbol to show that the men is willing and are prepared to build a family with the lady he chose to get married to. The contract signing is done before a religious official and is accompanied by prayer.
If the bersanding is to take place the next day, the couple's hands are dyed with henna during the berinai besar (great henna-ing) ceremony. The bride's hair is also trimmed, eyebrows shaped and make-up applied by a beautician, known as the mak andam. Then the bride puts on her tudunghijab or headscarf) to cover their hair and a selendang, or embroidered and beaded shawl over that. A crown is also placed on top of the shawl. If the bersanding does not take place on the day following the nikah, these preparation customs are delayed until the bersanding. (well, yg ni mcm biase la..the most imporant stage of our life- bertukar status!! time nikah tu ada tokkadi, saksi, groom n wali. hantaran2 sudah pasti dgn nombor2 yg ganjil.contoh yg kebiasaan is 7vs9 atau 9vs11. Time ni juga akan ada upacara batal air smayang after d couple is successfully di ijabkabulkan.. ;) )
The actual wedding day is the Bersanding. This literally means the "sitting together of the bride and bridegroom on the bridal couch". Known as the Pelamin, this couch is the centrepiece of the whole ceremony, and two pelamins are required - one in the bride's house and the other in the bridegroom's. As the Bersanding ceremony customarily takes place in the afternoon, the bridegroom entertains guests at his own house in the morning. The bersanding (enthronement) ceremony begins with the groom's procession with friends, relatives, musicians and people waving bunga manggar (palm blossom) to meet the bride. Often various good-humoured attempts are made to waylay or stop the groom from getting to the bride. The main part of the bersandingbunga telur (egg flower), a decorated egg with a fabric flower, as a sign of fertility. The couple are considered royalty for the day, and so various royal customs are performed for them, including musicians playing court music and 'bodyguards' performing a display of pencak silat (traditional Malay martial arts). involves the seating of the bridal couple on a dais and sprinkling them with yellow rice and scented water by family members, relatives and guests as a sign of blessing. Each guest will receive a bunga telur or doorgift in a way to say thank you.
(kalau kite tgk zaman dulu2 serious meriah kan.. i mean so many things going on.. reason org bersanding is untuk memberitahu masyarakat yg kita dah kawin untuk mengelakkan fitnah n etc..betul x? kalau i salah tlg betulkan..hehe.. Majlis bersanding skang2 ni maybe kite buat simpler.. yg penting makanan sedap n tetamu happy...)
Ok ni jer ler basic2 adat melayu in perkahwinan..i pun masih nak blaja2 in details. will share with all soon.. Hurrmmm mesti ade yg terpikir apsal tetiber je i nak post pasal merisik,meminang,bertunang,blabla nie kannnn?? dlm fb BBF pon dah ade hint2 sket..hehehe..oh well, u all will know soon.. hehe. *winkwink*